February 24, 2011 material girl
as promised, this post will include some fashion! let me tell you a little story first.
i grew up with a mom who loves to shop. like, seriously. loves. it. so, i grew up loving it, too. i liked getting new clothes before the new school year and in the months in between. when i reached high school, i started paying for the majority of my new digs. thanks to babysitting, my wallet usually boasted a few bills. luckily, my friends enjoyed shopping as much as i did. going to high school in san francisco didn’t help either. on fridays we got out early, around 1:15, and, usually, my friends and i packed up and scuttled downtown for some shopping. these trips were fun but pretty pointless. my closet was super full. always. and the funniest part? i rarely wore any new pieces i bought for very long! I got tired of them or just never wore them ever. i know, a waste, right?
these shopping habits carried on until my trip to south africa. there i met a group of people who changed my life and my perspective on life immensely. suddenly, i realized i wasn’t really shopping for new clothes, but to fill a materialistic void. i never needed any of these new clothes, they just made me feel better about myself. new things = new zoe. on that trip i decided to stop making mindless purchases and start feeling better about myself without the help of useless things.
now? i rarely shop. if i do, i buy a few things i need, and usually second hand. sometimes though, i do splurge. i’m starting to see that it’s okay to spend a bit of money on pieces that are well made and ethically sound (think patagonia, prana). i try to avoid stores like forever 21 and h+m because i know the ethics behind the clothes aren’t great. it’s hard sometimes, because truthfully? i still love to shop. but i also love saving money and spending it on things i actually need. a lot of clothes i wear are from high school or from my early college years.
all that being said, for christmas my mom, still the die-hard shopper, gifted me a hefty gift certificate to h+m. i’m not going to turn down a gift. so a few weekends ago, i finally put it to use and bought a few cute things.
my style isn’t anything special. i love comfortable clothes and tend to dress very casually. i generally stay away from “flashy” clothing (save for my tie-dye pants!) and love loose sweaters and shirts. part of this, i believe, comes from my comfort level with my body but that’s another story for another day. this is about what i got. take a look!
confession: i. love. sweaters. like, hardcore. it’s bad. in the warm months i live in cardigans and tanks tops and that’s about the extent of my wardrobe. (and bottoms, of course :)!). i have a great collection of sweaters and jackets and i wear every single one!
i also got three shirts in three different colors…
also purchased in navy blue and salmon pink. i wore the blue one the other day at the party. it’s in the picture below :)!
another confession: i loooove vests. especially loose, knitted vests like this!
also picked up a scarf. yes, i have a scarf addiction.
unpictured: a pair of pants! not reaaaally needed but i did need a new pair of skinny jeans considering my others ones don’t quite fit still…i also wandered into forever 21 and picked up some baller earring and a ring. and that’s it!
if you couldn’t tell, i love plain, simple clothing. i love basic colors and plain prints. if i do pick out something with a print, it generally will be a dress or a sweater with stripes. but i really am a solid color kind of girl! that way i can dress up my outfits with accessories. which i always wear a TON of.
whew. that was a lot of words! and i’ve got a few more before i go! i know, how excited are you ;)?
i feel a bit better today. still fighting the quiet echoing of my negative voice but i’m more together today. it helped that the first thing i did today was work out with jillian! a new work out, too! the other day i bought this at target…
um. quite the work out. i was super sweaty and stoked on the day! one thing i really, really liked was jillian. for once. she seemed really different in this video and ended it by saying something like, i know it’s nice to be cut and have a hot body but this is really about health. when you are healthy in your body, you’ll be healthy in every aspect of your life. instead of solely promoting a hot body like she does throughout the entire shred series, she’s promoting exercising for health. instead of saying things like “think about bathing suit shopping!” during the work out, she said things like, “feel how alive your body is! feel how strong you are!” much better, jillian. i loved this and think it was a great purchase! very motivating and focused on the areas i want to focus on (health, not bathing suit shopping!).
after my work out i threw together breakfast/lunch (it was close to noon at this point. no work today!). and i have to say, it was absolutely delicious. i made ashley’s microwave buckwheat bake. this girl is a genius. it was so decadent and nourishing and healthy to boot!
topped with freshly homemade coconut butter, a square of unsweetened baker’s chocolate, and unsweetened coconut cream! (one T coconut flour, a few splashed of unsweetened almond milk). it’s safe to say i have a new favorite breakfast. can you believe this was my first experience with buckwheat, which i learned is not a grain but a pseudograins like quinoa! so it’s a seed π and super awesome!
okay, this mouthful is getting too full. have a great thursday! it’s raining here and i’m contemplating what to do with my day. the downer part about being the only one out of school? everyone else is always busy! i’m so bored!
what is your personal style like? funky? girly? tomboy? tell me about it!
namaste
zoe
(oh, by the way, i finished invisible monsters yesterday. you guys, pick up this book! it kicks ass! i read over a hundred pages in one day. seriously flew through it!)
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- Posted under fitness, life
February 18, 2011 it’s raining
a lot. like, a lot a lot. it hailed for three straight minutes the other day. it looked like snow blanketed the ground. kind of bananas, considering i do like in northern california and usually hail lasts for thirty seconds, tops.
anyway, the weather is not the point, really. more news regarding life and k is the point, really. on wednesday night i ended it with k, officially. nothing felt like it did before i found out all i found out. i didn’t feel as happy, or excited as i did before. i felt like we were forcing it. and you know what? he agreed. he and i both think he needs time to figure himself out and what he actually wants. it makes sense and i understand. i’m just sorry this happened at all. there was no need to rush into anything but we allowed our emotions to get the best of us. lesson learned, right?
we decided to be friends for the moment, because neither of us wants the other out of each others lives (…there’s something grammatically wrong in that sentence, but this english major is just too tired to figure it out). how do i feel? sad. but i know this is the right thing to do. i’ve had a little voice in the back of my mind telling me so for a little over a week now, ever since i found out all i found out. and you know what? i spent last night and part of this morning at work in complete misery but then i found some deep buried strength and clung to it. after work i went on a run, did some yoga, and spent the afternoon with a friend of mine. instead of wallowing, i’m choosing to focus on the good in my life, because the universe knows i need it now.
i’m really okay with being friends. who knows, we might end up back together in the long run. but i’m not going to focus on that, because the future is something i cannot predict. i’m focusing on right now. and right now, we’re friends. and there’s a million other guys out there who can better appreciate the person i am and actually commit themselves to something special. so. friends it is.
so it’s raining. and i’m trying not to be grey. watching the entire first season of glee is helping, that’s for sure. (oh yeah, i’m addicted. i don’t know how i resisted this for so long).
hope you’re having a lovely friday night and enjoy your weekend! i promise fashion things soon. whatchu think?
what do you do to keep yourself happy?
personally, i play good music, surround myself with good people, concentrate on eating well, and, of course, do ridiculous amounts of yoga and regular exercise :)!
namaste
zoe
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- Posted under life, real talk, weather
February 14, 2011 to which i say:
FUCK THAT.
(my apologies for the profanity if you’re not a fan. i happen to be one, especially when i feel passionately about something. and i ain’t gonna censor me ;))
okay, i hear you: zoe, what are you effing off? let’s back up a few feet and ground ourselves in a less passionate place.
no one will deny the united states has a collective opinion about beauty and what it supposedly looks like.
you get the idea: flat stomach, toned arms, sculpted butt and thighs. (and, usually, blonde hair and fair skin, unfortunately)
but let me ask you a question: when was the last time you changed for anyone other than yourself?
because you are you, you are clearly amazing. and wonderful and smart and passionate and so, so beautiful, inside and out. you know all this. i know you know all this. yet, when was the last time you pined to be someone different than your own sassy, badass self? when was the last time you coveted a piece of someone so distinctly not you? when was the last time looked at your reflection, and felt unattractive and unworthy? (i hope it wasn’t recently!)
so this is what i say fuck that to: if we have and value our own individual opinions and perspectives about the world, why are we scrambling to adhere to a standard of beauty none of us really judge others by? tell me, would you ever call your friend “ugly” or “fat” just because he or she doesn’t look like one of the many bodies gracing magazine covers and television screens? of course not! because your ideas of beauty are most likely different than the “collective” ideas.
keeping all this in mind, ask yourself why you judge yourself (if you do) so harshly. if you are not holding anyone you love up to any standards, why are you holding yourself up to those (usually impossibly) standards? are we not supposed to love ourselves like we love our family and friends? why is embracing ourselves completely so difficult?
so i am saying fuck that to perfectionism. i’m saying fucking that to the standard collective ideas of beauty. i’m saying fuck that to compromising your own personal beliefs just to fit a mold we rarely hold others up against. i’m saying fuck that to not owning and believing in your own awesomeness, your own beauty. because trust me, it’s definitely there.
what do i find beautiful? a great sense of humor, a sparkling smile, a kind soul, a vivacious personality, confidence, intelligence, infectious happiness. oh, and, of course, the ability to say fuck that.
recently, i’ve been saying fuck that on a constant basis. i’m no longer trying to be anything but myself, and that includes not trying to force my body to look a certain way. it feels liberating to know, and more importantly to believe, that beauty truly does come in all shapes and sizes and colors.
what do you find beautiful? have you been able to say fuck it recently? tell me about it!
it seems northern california’s sunshine streak has officially ended. it’s raining outside! but it’s all right. i’m spending the majority of it inside at work, with friends nonetheless. i love my co-workers π before i go, i want to wish you all a spectacular valentine’s day! remember it’s not just about the love from a significant other, but also the love from friends, from family. try and take a second to see just how much you are loved today (because i bet you’re loved so much!). oh, and keep you eye out for something i rarely post about: fashion! i had a fashion related sunday and can’t wait to share!
namaste
zoe
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- Posted under body talk, real talk