February 23, 2011 oh-so-very BLAH
hello loves. hope your mid-week hump day is treating you well. (you know, the fact that we call wednesday hump day is kind of off-putting. not a big fan. just sayin’ ;)).
last night ended on a sour note, i’m afraid. the mood seems to have carried over into this sunny, frigid day. i climbed inside my head last night and just stayed there. once i’m locked in, it’s difficult to break out. it takes a lot of effort. which i am applying as we speak.
the funk came about for a few reasons. i climbed last night. with k and a mutual friend. climbing was a blast — i climbed my first 5.10a at our home gym, a big accomplishment considering our gym rates their routes on some crazy ridiculous level. i’m definitely getting stronger and taking more risks. two nights ago i also went climbing (with k…) and bouldered my first v.2. success! it’s amazing to see how far i’ve progressed in such a short amount of time.
anywho, with all that awesomeness going down it’s surprising a funk happened. but it did. i started to doubt myself. i started to feel “fat” (ugh, that word needs to die) and really, really unworthy. i felt uncomfortable and, unfortunately, disgusting in my own skin last night. part of it had to do with k and part of it had to do with the fact that lately, it’s been really difficult to just feel comfortable at all. i’m not going to lie: i’m trying to lose weight. and i’m trying to do it healthfully. it’s almost ridiculous how well i eat, too. but the scale hasn’t budged and my pants haven’t loosened up. i’m really stuck despite my diet and well-rounded exercise habits (just about every day, though the intensity differs as the activity changes daily. example: yoga and climbing monday, climbing yesterday, long, long walk today and maybe some yoga later.). it’s starting to frustrate me. any tips would be welcome…
but back to last night. i went to bed a little weepy and discouraged. i woke up discouraged and very blah. it’s hard being friends because i miss k, but it’s the right thing to do. especially when i remembered everything that went down. i know this feeling will pass but it has settled over my day. hopefully a few things will clear up the air. because i don’t want to sit in company with this beast for very much longer.
a lunch visit with my mommy might help! i’m excited 🙂
and reading through my newest book that i cannot, for the life of me, put down. anyone else read it?
chuck palahniuk is such an engaging writer. i just finished lullaby right before invisible monsters. i seriously fly through his stuff (and i’m a slow reader) and have issues putting it down when i need to (say like…when i need to sleep. or clock back in from my lunch at work). i forgot how much i love reading! it’s so nice to be able to pick up whatever i want to read now instead of reading assigned things.
and, if the stars are aligned, i’ll hopefully make it to a club tonight with a friend and her boyfriend for dancing! little known fact: i love to dance. lovelovelove. i’m basically always moving to some beat in my head. i dance in public all the time. sorry if i’ve offended your eyes. i never said i was good at it 🙂 but i’ve been wanting to go dancing for daaays so i’m just banking on my energy levels not being low (i’ve been up since three. after sleeping for oh, four hours? i opened…). fingers crossed!
i’ve got more interesting things to write about, i promise. this is getting long and i don’t want to bore you all to death any more. things to look forward to (maybe? hopefully?): a fashion post (PROMISE!), a book review (kara, this is for you! it’s been a long time coming and i JUST got the book back!), and a challenge! keep your eyes peeled. until then, enjoy your hump day 😉
how do you cope with rotten moods and hard-to-shake mindsets?
update: i just finished an hour and fifteen minute vinyasa flow that completely restored me. i feel calm, steady, and refreshed. yoga is such a soul soother. savasana felt so nourishing and rewarding. yoga is such a present to the mind, body, and spirit!