February 18, 2011 it’s raining
a lot. like, a lot a lot. it hailed for three straight minutes the other day. it looked like snow blanketed the ground. kind of bananas, considering i do like in northern california and usually hail lasts for thirty seconds, tops.
anyway, the weather is not the point, really. more news regarding life and k is the point, really. on wednesday night i ended it with k, officially. nothing felt like it did before i found out all i found out. i didn’t feel as happy, or excited as i did before. i felt like we were forcing it. and you know what? he agreed. he and i both think he needs time to figure himself out and what he actually wants. it makes sense and i understand. i’m just sorry this happened at all. there was no need to rush into anything but we allowed our emotions to get the best of us. lesson learned, right?
we decided to be friends for the moment, because neither of us wants the other out of each others lives (…there’s something grammatically wrong in that sentence, but this english major is just too tired to figure it out). how do i feel? sad. but i know this is the right thing to do. i’ve had a little voice in the back of my mind telling me so for a little over a week now, ever since i found out all i found out. and you know what? i spent last night and part of this morning at work in complete misery but then i found some deep buried strength and clung to it. after work i went on a run, did some yoga, and spent the afternoon with a friend of mine. instead of wallowing, i’m choosing to focus on the good in my life, because the universe knows i need it now.
i’m really okay with being friends. who knows, we might end up back together in the long run. but i’m not going to focus on that, because the future is something i cannot predict. i’m focusing on right now. and right now, we’re friends. and there’s a million other guys out there who can better appreciate the person i am and actually commit themselves to something special. so. friends it is.
so it’s raining. and i’m trying not to be grey. watching the entire first season of glee is helping, that’s for sure. (oh yeah, i’m addicted. i don’t know how i resisted this for so long).
hope you’re having a lovely friday night and enjoy your weekend! i promise fashion things soon. whatchu think?
what do you do to keep yourself happy?
personally, i play good music, surround myself with good people, concentrate on eating well, and, of course, do ridiculous amounts of yoga and regular exercise :)!