September 18, 2010 a mish-mosh of thoughts
my situation appeared a little gloomy last post, didn’t it? not my intention.
especially because i had such an amazing night last night. i work with some hilarious, entertaining, fantastic individuals. the giants game was so much fun. i carted into the city myself and four other boys (two of them being the boys i mentioned earlier in the week). somehow i always manage to become bffs with guys much quicker than with girls. strange phenomenon (holy hell i just spelled that word right for the first time ever. sorry, but pretty sure that deserves a paranthetical announcement!). regardless, we chit chatted the entire way into the city and listened to good music. at the game i enjoyed not one but TWO beers. usually i forego drinking because the empty calories and carbs freak me out. but i decided to hell with it — i was at a giants game and i was going to enjoy myself. and i did.
my coworkers got drunk. i got a little tipsy myself. and i was all smiles the entire evening. even though i got back late and woke up at four unable to go back to sleep, i am still having an amazing day. i woke up super pumped for the day to begin. worked from 7-1:30. ate a delicious, filling lunch and am about to set out on a run.
confession: since breaking up with running about two and a half months ago, no part of me has wanted to run. recently, however, the running itch has returned and the need to scratch it continues to grow. part of me is hesitant because part of me believes i am only interested (still) in the calorie burning aspect of the work out. but the other, much, much more rational aspect of my self, recognizes the budding joy i have found in my last few runs. at work today all i could think about was running. not running a lot, just a little — something like two to three miles at an easy peasy pace. with walking breaks if need be. i am not pushing myself anymore in anything — i’m only doing things i like and only doing as much as my body wants me to. i’m getting better at this whole listening to my body, don’t you think? personally i’m really proud of the progress i have made. really.
so if i feel like running from now on, i think i’m going to give it a shot. most days include yoga (okay, basically all days) but some days will now include running, i think. i’m about ready to rebuild this relationship the healthy way. since tearing through thrive by brendan brazier, i realized how little i was feeding myself back in my heavy running days. i was never properly fueled for my runs or properly recovering from my runs. i did not realize the impact my intentional restriction would have on my body. bodily stress = weight gain. bodily stress = bad skin. bodily stress = unstable emotions. bodily stress = depression. all the negative i experienced came from denying my body what it craved. i hope to see a nutritionist soon because i am still at a bit of a loss as to what i should be eating and how much and when. because i am not ready to give up this vegan lifestyle — i love it so much. thrive has helped me see and truly value to importance of taking care of my body. it is a temple, after all. seriously, i really, REALLY recommend thrive. there’s awesome nutritional facts about all kinds of food and delicious recipes. and pre and post workout recovery tips! the guy is smart, for sure.
anyway, i’m about to take off on my run now. wish me luck! i’ll let you all know how it turns out. have a fantastic saturday, my loves!