August 27, 2010 i’m alive, i swear
hello dear bloggies.
i apologize for the absenteeism and the slight freak out. thanks for
rolling your eyes and bearing with me. i feel like i can be a bit dramatic at times but honestly, everything i wrote in the previous post was definitely not over dramatized.
if you’re wondering how i am today, five days after that post, let me tell you. i feel a million times better. a miiiiiillion. funks always eventually disappear this one just happened to take it’s time. which was frustrating and far too emotional. i credit it to PMS. my mood swings kind of spin out of control during my period and the week leading up to it. for two weeks out of the month, usually, i freak. out. my skin freaks out, my body freaks out, my mind freaks out. it is no pretty picture. i am just happy the week ended.
this week brought with it much more happiness. and a few stories. i started school. 20 units for my final semester. what am i taking? intro to novel writing. periods in brit lit (for which i am TAing for AND taking), intro to fiction (i am in love with my teacher already), and advanced poetry (we’ll see how this one goes. i am not very good at poetry). although i’m still not too stoked, my intro to fiction class got me excited for the semester.
i also scheduled an appointment at the counseling center for next thursday before class. i already feel some amount of stress and anxiety leaving. i know i am not an extreme case of anything, but i need help managing my anxiety and overcoming my disordered eating. i got to discuss a lot with candace (who stole the scale from me. although…i’m pretty embarrassed to say i stole it back without her knowing…) but discussing all this with a professional will be incredibly beneficial because (hopefully) they’ll know how to counsel me through it.
now let’s talk work. it’s been a good five days and not anything too noteworthy has happened. that’s because of work. i worked 30 hours this week. i work 37.75 hours next week. on top of a 20 unit schedule. yeah…how am i going to fit in homework and a regular life are two questions on my mind, too. i’m going to work it out and hopefully (seriously, fingers crossed) i won’t have such a heavy work load the week after next. hopefully.
in terms of yoga well…thanks to work my lower back has been killing me. i’ve tried staying off my mat for the most part but yesterday i did an hour core flow and it felt aaaaahmazing. no back pain. it really only sparks up when i’m on my feet or walking. it kind of sucks. because i feel like i tweaked something and it just won’t heal unless i take a good like…week and lay on the couch. ugh.
at least it’s friday today. work is over (i opened. 4 am to 8:45 am. quickest shift ever!). i’m fitting in some type of work out and i plan on relaxing for the remainder of the day. but who knows…maybe i’ll sneak an adventure in there.
i’m sorry again for the craziness. i just wanted to be honest with you and let you know where i was mentally. the fog has cleared (for the most part) and i’m back. i just need to remember everything passes eventually. and choosing happiness over unhappiness is always, always, always an option.
thanks for reading this rambling catch-up post, kidlettes. i promise more interesting posts will be coming. have a great friday.