August 1, 2010 home sweet home
after seven long, beautiful days, i get to say hello to you again, kidlettes!
vacation went a little like this:
first stop: sacramento state fair! i still don’t understand why sacramento is california’s capital. it’s not that cool. but the fair was fun! it was HUGE. AND i managed to find vegan food! hooray for pita carts! plus…
smokey and i got a little friendly 😉
our first day in tahoe: family thrift shopping! laughing at lots of ridiculous things. discovering two cute hats! and a silly, silly shirt reading “america” for my brother. anyone seen team america? my brother and i like to look at each other whenever we see something decidedly “american” (i.e: giant inflatable american flag bearing bald eagles on top of a car dealership…) and say: “america — fuck yeah!” seriously, trey parker and matt stone are geniuses. later that night we saw inception. HOLY BALLS. inception = a complete mind bending, awesome movie going experience. pluuuus i got to stare longingly at leonardo dicaprio and joseph gordon-levitt. the later of which makes my heart beat rapidly. so, so rapidly. le sigh. i swoon.
then we kayacked! around echo lake. gaaah. it was hard! but it was fun. and lovely on the eyes. i will say i woke up in a wicked mood that day (i blame it on the full moon. emotions were HIGH!) and it took me a while to snap out of it and appreciate where i was and what i was doing and looking at. i’m trying to put my petty emotions aside and appreciate the moments i pass through and all the beauty they contain. i am working on spending less time feeling down and more time feeling happy, light, and free. a challenge, yes, but nothing i cannot accomplish. plus, just look at this!
next up, a lovely, 1.2 mile uphill hike! beautiful trees. beautiful lakes. beautiful sky. beautiful company. and a little bit of rock climbing. climbing rocks = possibly the most fun thing ever. i love climbing anything, really. rocks. trees. up onto roofs. i’m not afraid of heights, either. so that’s a plus! last school year i got my belay license at our gym’s rock climbing wall which, regretfully, i did not take advantage of because i was too intimidated to. there’s some intense climbers at my college, yo…
what else happened? the beach of course! did i feel comfortable in my bathing suit? yes and no. more comfortable than i have in YEARS. but you know, still working on body anxiety. yadda yadda yadda. but i felt good enough to lounge around in my two piece all day. move on up! PLUS i got to hang off of a floaty while a boat pulled me. new experience. new AWESOME experience.
i also got to bake another cake!
a completely un-vegan cake. but that’s what you do when you’re brother’s friend turns 16. i love baking anything anyway so. whatever! chocolate cake. chocolate frosting. raspberry jam in between. chocolate chips in there somewhere. (by the way…the smell of all that chocolate nauseated me…)
and speaking of chocolate: i ate chocolate. dun-dun-duuun. well, it was sunspire grain-sweetened chocolate. so no refined sugars there. and it was unsweetened chocolate. but what did i find? well i ate it. and i liked it. duh. but ugh, it made me feel sick. i seriously am not craving it. i find myself craving broccoli and carrots and hummus like a pregnant lady though. and just healthy foods in general. also, i’ve been feeding myself more too. it’s a bit difficult at times and i find anxiety squeezes my heart and my blood warms uncomfortably but i just try to breathe through it. i try to remind myself healthy food does no damage to my body. it just makes it happy!
other things: FINALLY finished middle sex. do yourself a favor and READ IT. PLEASE. jeffery eugenides knows how to craft a beautiful sentence. (um. anyone else notice how beautiful is my most favorite word in this post? my apologies.) AND i started on another book written by one of my other favorite authors: lullaby by chuck palahniuk. chuck p. how i love thee. i sing his praises so much. talk about a gifted writer. he’s so thought provoking and elegant and hilarious and smart and…well, you get it. i love how straight forward his writing is. so crass. so entertaining. so effing brilliant.
and more things: so so so much yoga this week!
not a day has passed without me doing some. and some times i do some twice a day! i love how it calms me and puts me in this place of pure serenity. plus, i love how strong i feel! i still have issues getting into crow. and headstands. but i’m getting there. i love how yoga is about doing what you can and and not about forcing and rushing. i’ll get there. i’m so excited to get there, too! but i will not lie. some days i’ve felt major anxiety about not running. i am so happy i am not doing it but i feel like i am not “working out” enough. plus, i saw runners everywhere. we even came across a group of people at a running workshop. thanks by the way, universe. testing my strength, eh? whatever. i also worked out my work out anxieties with jillian michaels and shredded it uuuup. lady makes me sweat. and i love it.
but really, if you do anything today, please read this beautifully written and incredibly touching piece over at jezebel. it brought tears to my eyes (side note: i am such a wimp. i am an emotional weenie. everything and anything can make me cry if i attach enough meaning to it). it is an emotionally charged, thoughtful piece of writing that i connected to on several levels. and i think you might, too! plus, i love sharing beautiful writing with people. whenever i feel passionately about something, i tend to want to share it with everyone i know. much to the annoyance of everyone i know 😉 but dang, i just love words. and i love, love, love beautiful, magical words. helloooo english major with an emphasis in creative writing.
(which, on a SUPER side note, i’ve been thinking…would any of my lovely readers care to actually read some of my writing? like, my real writing? it’s been a journey to open up and actually share it and i guess i should give you a little taste of what i love! again…passionate about something = me sharing. and since i’m comfortable with letting people read my work now (thank the universe for creative writing workshops!), i’d love to share it with you all! that is, if you want to read it. if not, totally feel free to tell me “zoe, shut up. please.” ;))
whew! what a long and winding post. i missed blogging. could you tell ;)? and i may or may not have sneaked on to a few blogs while on vacation…so much for unplugging 😉 i’ve got a few topics (and more pictures!) to discuss with you all soon, too! so stay tuned!