Monthly Archives: July 2010
sorry i’ve fallen off the blog-o-sphere as of late. i’ve just been really, really, ridiculously
good looking busy. between work outs, kicking it with friends, and running errands i am unfortunately finding little time to write up interesting posts. i don’t feel particularly interesting at this moment. so i’m just going to catch you up on thoughts and events and foods of the past few days.
tofu noodles! i saw these at my local grocery store and swooped them immediately. were they good? yes! very tasty! i paired them with a raw zucchini, lightly steamed carrots, and the remainder of the sauce i made the other day. super yum.
final thoughts: while this was delicious and super low in calories (20 per serving and there’s two servings in that package! i ate it all in one sitting), i wish i read in the back before buying them. because i read tofu on the front, i assumed the noodles would be a good source of protein. wrong. for the entire package, there is only two grams of protein. bummer. but a delicious bummer nonetheless.
turned out pretty good for being a kind-of curry! i served it over some quinoa i cooked b
ecause i was way too impatient to wait for brown rice.
and today, i made my very first batch of hummus! because i soaked my own chick peas the other day. i’m not giving out a recipe because i am still working on making it legit…too legit to quit, in fact. and i don’t think it’s too legit to quit yet. a friend just gifted me a HUGE bag of walnuts, too! i just prepped some raw taco “meat” for my dinner using them. i plan on creating a raw dessert soon with them as well. recipe for that as soon as i get around to it!
sigh. the redwoods are so pretty. one thing i noticed yesterday while lost in the beautiful greenery that is northern california’s muir woods? i have an issue with being present in the moment. i tend to allow my mind to wander to future events. my body may be present and alert to the time and space i occupy at any given second, but my mind rarely is. i have trouble focusing completely on what i am doing at any period of time. so yesterday, as i wound through the woods, all i could think about was what i was going to do when i got home. where’s the logic in that? i tend to catch myself doing this quite often. i’m going to work on that.
and in other news, i’ve been feeling awesome lately (although today i am fighting off a bit of a funk). i’ve stayed dedicated to avoiding chocolate (although i may have had a slice of raw raspberry mocha layer cake from cafe gratitude on national junk food day and it may or may not have contained cacao ;)) and i have not baked a single thing (though i am seriously itching to. bag of walnuts = a world of raw desserts! i can’t wait!!!). i’m seriously going to start avoiding sugar because i’ve noticed how different i feel mentally and physically without it in my diet. moderation!
also, i start every morning with yoga, even on my “shred days”. and boy have i noticed a difference. my core feels stronger. my mind feels lighter. and today i stepped on a scale just to check in. i won’t tell you what i weigh because i don’t think that’s important, but i’ve lost five pounds from the last time i weighed myself (about two weeks ago? maybe more.) i was pretty shocked because i look more or less the same — just more toned. yoga is a god send, for both the body and the mind. i even went to the pool the other day and felt confident in my bikini. that’s major. MAJOR. seriously, i never ever thought i’d be comfortable in my own skin. but i honestly think the goal is attainable by the end of this year.
siiigh. i’m really in love with life right now. i’m trying to see the beauty and the blessings in each and every day.
on that note, i should mention i’m leaving tomorrow to spend the week in lake tahoe with my family. i am so excited to relax and unwind and get away from everything for a second. our family friends are lending us their home which means i will have a kitchen to cook in! oh yeah, i’ve already stuffed a bag full of food to take with me! i will not be posting anything. i’m unplugging for seven solid days.
have a great week and apologies for this scattered, really horribly written post!
good very early morning kidlettes. hope you’re all sleeping soundly.
i’ve got some things on my mind.
i just returned home from a friend’s going away party. twas quite blah. but i got to bike home which was relaxing (i love the stillness of night. i usually work out better when i am in a quiet environment!) AND my friend victoria is back in town! it was great to see her; she’s been in France and away for about a month.
and while talking to victoria at the party, i inadvertently stumbled upon a revelation. one of those revelations you knew all along but did not have enough courage to speak aloud. regardless, i found myself saying the words aloud easily and without hesitation: “yeah, i think running and i are on a little break right now.” the statement sounded real and truthful. it felt real and truthful. my chest felt lighter; hearts always speak the truth.
something in my body loved that pronouncement, hugged it with all its being. i finally admitted to myself the very fact i’ve been dodging for two months, about when it crept out from the shadows of my mind: i cannot find anything remotely attractive about running right now save for the fact that it burns a ton of calories. and i don’t want to look at exercising as solely a form of burning a ton of calories. i want to view exercise as a means to keep my mind and body healthy. i want to use exercise to keep me happy, not unhappy and miserably chugging through sixty minutes of torture. i am afraid my outlook on exercise has shifted negatively some how. what started out healthy enough has turned into a semi-compulsive need to torch calories in order to stay slim.
i finish my runs of late with only one thought: well, at least i burned a lot of calories! …nuh-uh. way too negative and unhealthy of a thought. it makes me uncomfortable to admit this and it makes me upset to seriously acknowledge it but i know when i have an issue. and i most definitely have an issue with running. my last few runs felt stiff, tight, and unbearable. and since i’m learning to wholly appreciate this body of mine, i am listening to it’s current disagreement with running. i know ignoring the compulsive itch to run will be very difficult, as on days when i do not run, i do not feel like i “deserve” to eat a healthy amount of food. i restrict on these days and feel my food anxieties more deeply. i am not anorexic, but i certainly do not eat as much as i should.
while i will start repressing my anxious body’s need to run, i will start to adhere to my healthy body’s daily demand for yoga. i already have. yoga, unlike running, leaves me feeling strong and connected to my body. yoga calms me. yoga soothes me, body, mind, and soul. i leave my mat centered, happy, and confident. and i break a good sweat.
i appreciate this body. the other day, ilana asked us to share with her what we loved about our bodies. immediately, i wrote how i love my curves, which i do. i also wrote how i loved the fact my abs are finally starting to show definition, which i also love. but after i wrote this i reread my comment and realized everything i wrote centered on appearance. it revealed to me how conscious i actually am about the outside of my body. i appreciate it when it looks good, and loathe it when it looks “bad”. on these unfortunate days i forget what my body does for me. i am still missing the bridge between appreciating the body for all it can do and how it looks. to begin truly, honestly loving this body, i need to start rebuilding that bridge, because i burned it a long time ago.
so that’s it. running and i are on a break. will i cave and pull a crazy rendezvous with running? it’s quite possible. i ran the other day when i said i wouldn’t because i felt panicky about not working out “hardcore”. and yeah, it sucked. i may use the parent’s treadmill for intervals because i found i really enjoyed those but the open road and the soles of my running soles will not be speaking for a cool minute.
and you know, regina spektor did say it best: i have a perfect body, but sometimes i forget.
treat yourself with kindness. you deserve it.
whew! good morning/afternoon kidlettes!
just finished up chaz’s (yogamazing!) summer flow and yogadownload’s yoga with weights #2. a nice 60 minute sweat session. seriously, literally pouring sweat!
hope everything is well where you are. it’s finally starting to feel like summer! no over cast days anymore — it hit 90 yesterday and i only anticipate the temperature to keep climbing! i think lots of cold food is in my future. for now, just half a cantelope :)!
anyway, remember when i mentioned i had a few topics i wanted to share and discuss with you? well here’s one of the many!
the night of the concert, my mom, dad, and i went out to dinner beforehand with my uncle, aunt, another aunt and her friend. everyone at the table was very curious about my vegan diet (and no, i do not mean diet here as in restriction diet. i mean it as my lifestyle diet). i usually get asked a lot of questions by my meat-eating family, all of which i am happy to answer. my aunt happened to ask me a question though i’ve been carrying around ever since that dinner:
what has changed since you went vegan?
well, as you know, i only decided to officially go vegan about a month ago. before my diet was basically 95% vegan with the occasional egg and bite of yogurt and cheese. but this question really got me thinking. i started to observe the last few months and came up with a few changes that really stand out to me.
*my teeth got whiter
*i no longer wake up with a white film on my tongue
*i have more energy
*i lost weight (not the most important, just something that happened)
*i haven’t been sick since christmas (not even a cold or stuffy nose)
*i sleep better
*the skin on my hands no longer cracks like it used to
*the rough part of my elbows is super smooth now
*come to think of it, most of my skin is smooth and bright
*i rarely feel lethargic after my meals
*oddly enough, my singing voice has improved (not that it was amazing by any means previously!)
*my hair grows SUPER quickly and is thick and shiny
*ditto with my nails
*my taste buds have changed (durr ;)) and i appreciate so many more types of food
*my culinary vision has opened immensely
*i don’t have as many, ahem, issues in the bathroom (i’ve always had a really sensitive stomach)
and those are just the ones that i can think of off the top of my head! isn’t it funny how changing your diet can completely transform your body?
now, i know not everyone who reads this little blog here is vegan. but i want to know, if you have changed your diet in any way, what have you noticed has changed about yourself?
i’m curious to know!
hello hello hello!
sorry i dropped off the face of the earth for a second there. i’ve been busy busy busy. seriously. it’s awesomely ridiculous.
before i launch into anything of great importance, let me detail the most amazing night of my liiiiife: the PAUL MCCARTNEY CONCERT!
he was so totally awesome i cannot really begin to explain. the band (five including paul) rocked the stadium (it was at att&t park — home of my giants!!). i seriously think every seat was taken. fo’ reals. not fo’ play play.
he played a lot of solo stuff and a lot of wings stuff i did not know too well. of course i knew live and let die and band on the run (thank you guitar hero!) but the beatles’ songs he played were wonderful. all my loving. ob-la-di ob-la-da. hey jude. i’m looking through you. blackbird (which he inform us was written in response to the race issues in the south during the civil rights movement. who knew!). something. back in the USSR. two of us (my heart sighed deeply). and others that are currently eluding me. just know it was fantastic. and our tickets were on the field! which was cool but my mom and i are short (she’s 5′ i’m 5′ 1″!) so seeing over all the tall standing people was difficult.
he played for THREE HOURS. STRAIGHT. there were two encores and MAN, he was so personable and funny. he told stories of his beatles’ days, of john and george. it was so, so, so much fun. my mom, dad, and i all agreed ringo should of made a guest appearance. but he didn’t. boooooo! no worries, i forgive him 😉
and as for other news, as of late life has felt full and satisfying. i am currently four days chocolate free (though i did eat some carob chips but that’s not technically the chocolate that kills me sooo…i’m allowing it until i finish the bag!) and already i feel a difference. my body feels lighter and my mind more clear. i am not having heavy mood swings or experiencing funks i simply cannot shake. i am honestly loving what i see in the mirror more and more each day. i wake up every morning and repeat to myself three things: you are beautiful. you are strong. you are capable. i repeat this several times until i feel myself believing it. so far, so good.
if i find myself caught in the comparison game, i remind myself how amazing my own body is and despite the differences, i am still just as beautiful as the body i am comparing myself to. this positivity has allowed me to see fully the beauty in my environment and the people around me.
a while back jackie wrote about the four agreements. since reading her lovely post, i keep them in mind almost at all times. i think about my words and how to use them effectively. i don’t talk simply for the sake of talking and monitor my words for gossip. i remind myself to not speak badly about people because i know i would not like that. practicing not taking things personally has been challenging but so rewarding. i used to make myself sick (literally. i got anxious to the point of feeling ill and unable to eat and sleep) worrying about why people reacted to me in certain ways. but now i just breathe and remind myself that it is not me, it is simply how that person choose to react to the situation. they could be in a bad mood and hey, bad moods happen. i know this for a fact. this goes too for assumptions. i work daily to not assume things, such as “s/he didn’t call/text me back because _____”. useless. unless you want to make yourself sick 😉
i getting stronger, in mind and in body. the other day, chaz, the awesome yogamazing instructor (check out the podcasts people! itunes :)), suggested writing little notes on your yoga mat, as his daughter decorated his. so i took the advice and wrote this at the very top of my mat:
i am getting deeper into my yoga practice and cutting back on runs (though i went on a kick ass 6.3 mile run yesterday!) because my body (and my mind and sanity) crave yoga more than anything right now. this message at the top of my (super cheap) mat has motivated me whenever i feel doubt coming on in difficult poses. try it and see what happens!
as for now, i just finished a great 75 minute power yoga flow (yogadownload.com!) and have plans to go grocery shopping! i worked from 4-8 today (yes, four in the morning! i was up at 3:15!) and it went so well! i started yesterday and today actually got to brew coffee and work the pastry case. it will be a while before i can do much else but those four hours FLEW by! i am already loving this job about ten million times more than my last one, where five hours felt like torture and inched by painfully, horrendously slow.
but have a good day, kidlettes! i have some interesting (at least i think! hah! ;)) topics i’d like to share and discuss with you in future posts! keep an eye out 🙂
beatles fun fact (because i suck at being consistent): Contrary to popular belief, the title for “Lucy in the Sky With Diamonds” was prompted by 4-year-old Julian Lennon’s description of a painting he brought home from school, not the drug, LSD. John Lennon has been said to have preferred Elton John’s rendition of the song, and played background guitar and backup vocals on John’s version, credited as “Dr. Winston O’Boogie and his Reggae Guitars.”
(oh and sidenote: i’m almost able to get into the foundation of a headstand!!!!!!)