June 19, 2010 sanity rediscovered!
hello kidlettes! how are all of you today? well, i hope!
whew. the past week has been…rough. emotionally. physically. spiritually. i’m out of whack, as you know, but i woke up this morning feeling more centered and more relaxed. THANK THE UNIVERSE because if i had to experience another day like yesterday, i might just implode.
what happened yesterday? well i broke down on my yoga mat and sobbed for a good twenty minutes. yes, sobbed. like a baby. i just lost it. it felt good to lose it, though. you know when you’re just so emotionally taxed and you cry and suddenly everything just feels…peaceful again? well that was yesterday. only the peace did not stay for so long. but i felt infinitely better after my pathetic water works explosion. AND the yoga felt amazing too.
i felt all weepy for the remainder of the day though and definitely teared up at stupid things. honestly? since starting this blog i’ve realized about once a month my mood swings and emotions go absolutely bat-shit insane for about a week. and i think the reason i feel so great today is because it has been exactly one week since i started to slip down my negative road. what can i credit this to? upon reflection, i noticed this trend started in middle school. i think i just have really intense PMS. i don’t get cramps. i don’t suffer from fatigue. but my body likes to plague me with horrid bouts of uncontrollable mood swings, breakouts, and bloating. oh, the pleasures of womanhood.
do any of you ladies out there have similar symptoms? HOW THE EFF DO YOU DEAL!?!?!
anyway, besides feeling like an emotional crazy lady, yesterday went well. my dad and brother are out of town at the pebble beach golf tournament (i know. i don’t get it either. golf is so effing boring!) so i accompanied my mom to dinner and a movie! seriously, i know i’ve mentioned it before but whenever i am down, going home really grounds me. although, i was in a bad mood yesterday and my patience wasn’t too great…
but dinner! dinner was great! we could not think of a damn place to eat at and we only had an hour before the movie started. we hemmed and hawed and argued over vegan food until i finally suggested we just go to the whole foods hot bar and salad bar. an immediate deal was reached. my mom got a burrito (i think this is new? i’ve never seen the option before!) and i put together a deliiiicious mini salad and did something i haven’t done in oh, over a year: i got a sandwich. ON A SOURDOUGH ROLL! that’s a big step, guys. really, really big. my mom i think has recognized some of my food anxieties and reassured me by saying: “it’s okay, you’ll live!” sometimes parents just really know what to say. i found it really comforting and you know what? i did live. and the sandwich kicked ass. (basil pesto, roasted red pepper, grilled portobello mushrooms, onions and lettuce!)
we ate in the parking lot of the movie theater and declared it the best idea ever. we saw winter’s bone. it was GREAT. the cinematography was stunning and the acting was fantastic and the writing…le sigh, i love writing as you know (creative writing majoooor! what whaaat!) and this writing was so, so beautiful. i recommend it!
so that was yesterday. and when i FINALLY uploaded my pictures, i noticed just how many eats i’ve been concealing from you guys!
remember that awesome breakfast i alluded to the other day? well this was it:
two slices of sprouted sourdough which i used to make french toast!!!!! it’s been YEARS since i last ate french toast. i topped one side with peanut butter and the other with dark chocolate almond spread (i know i said i was taking a break from chocolate but for some reason, i am not counting this :)) and half a nanner. then i put them together. things got messy. AND DELICIOUS!
will i remake this? uh…YES. i drizzled a little honey on it, too. i know honey is not vegan but i have a full bottle and bought it before my decision and you know what, (good) honey is expensive. i’m not going to waste food, either.
yesterday for lunch i ate this plate of awesome:
tofu i sauteed with salt, pepper, garlic powder, and a ridiculous amount of nutritional yeast. topped with 1/4 an avocado and daiya cheddar style cheese (if i could marry this, i might.). served with a side of nutritional yeast covered roasted brussel sprouts. yeah, so what? i really like nutritional yeast, okay ;)?
it was glorious. the other day, i made this after a good long run:
tofu scramble with 1/4th an avocado, salsa and daiya “cheese” all wrapped up in a toasted ezekiel wrap. toasting them, i think, is key. i like them as is but when they sit in the broiler for a second, the outside crisps up but the inside stays chewing and ahh it ends up being a really good combination of textures.
the other day i created this:
open faced tempeh almond butter & jam sandwich. the “bread” was april’s nearly no carb sandwich bread. they’re a little more like pancakes but incredibly tasty!!!
today i ate this after my 6.5 mile run:
i dreamed it up while running: half a cantaloupe stuffed with quinoa which i mixed with some greek yogurt, cinnamon and coconut flakes. YUM YUM YUM. protein and melon which i am craving like crazy lately (really though. i bought a mini watermelon, a honey dew, and two Tuscan cantaloupes yesterday. no, i am no obsessed. why do you ask? ;)) and i’m pretty sure i’m not going to miss greek yogurt. i was never a big fan of yogurt to begin with but eh. it’ll keep my wallet fatter, i think! this stuff can be pricey…
i used it this morning to weigh out my oatmeal. turns out i’ve been over doing the 1/3 cup 😉 i think i will definitely have to be careful how i use this, though. it might turn into a negative obsession. i will not weigh out all my foods. but i am curious to see just how many grams of x y and z vegetable i am consuming. or nut butters (because i think i FOR SURE eat more then a serving size at a time. oops!) i think i will primarily use this for baking! baking is really an exact science. so knowing the exact amount of baking powder and flour and chocolate (one day!) will be beneficial.
this is a ridiculously long post. i’m sorry! just a few more random thoughts…
did anyone catch the US vs slovenia game? if you didn’t, i seriously encourage you to watch it!!!!!!! unless you’re crazy and don’t like football (soccerrrr!). but we were robbed of a goal and should of won. seriously, i was screaming at my computer screen. i’m sure my neighbors thought i was nuts. and because of the call the ref might be barred from reffing any further world cup games. SERVES HIM RIGHT. it was an AWFUL call. everyone admitted it, too. did not matter what country you were sporting, a shitty call is always a shitty call.
also one more thought concerning my run this morning…i really pushed it today. i started out faster than normal and kept the pace as best i could for the duration of the run. i clocked in at 51:36. i ran my 10k in 57:15. i’ve shaved off a LOT of time!!!!!! i’m getting faster! i am thrilled 🙂 just another reminder that i can do anything. and you know what? so can you!
and that’s all for now. i’m going to bikram later with some friends and am pretty stoked about it. i think today it will be especially centering and calming and restorative. until then i will be reading! two books i requested from the library came in yesterday along for the rid by sarah dessen (i’ve read all of her books. they’re so fluffy but i love them! i read 60 pages last night!) and michael pollan’s the omnivores dilemma. yay!
i might post later about one of the topics i’ve been meaning to talk about! stay tuned 🙂